Trump foreign policy explained


While Republican insiders were, as Politico put it, “scratching their heads” at the list of names Donald Trump put forward as constituting his foreign policy brain trust, your faithful correspondent has been busily tracking down the real source of the presumptive nominee’s foreign policy agenda.

It’s taken awhile, but I finally figured out where Trump found his blueprint. And boy do I feel safer and more secure as a result.

Here are the lyrics, in case you need a transcript the next time Trump makes a big foreign policy speech.

No one likes us — I don’t know why
We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
But all around, even our old friends put us down
Let’s drop the big one and see what happens
We give them money — but are they grateful?
No, they’re spiteful and they’re hateful
They don’t respect us — so let’s surprise them
We’ll drop the big one and pulverize them
Asia’s crowded and Europe’s too old
Africa is far too hot
And Canada’s too cold
And South America stole our name
Let’s drop the big one
There’ll be no one left to blame us
We’ll save Australia
Don’t wanna hurt no kangaroo
We’ll build an All American amusement park there
They got surfin’, too
Boom goes London and boom Paree
More room for you and more room for me
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town
Oh, how peaceful it will be
We’ll set everybody free
You’ll wear a Japanese kimono
And there’ll be Italian shoes for me
They all hate us anyhow
So let’s drop the big one now
Let’s drop the big one now